Black & Blue_A M/M Standalone Romance Read online

  Declan’s hands stroke my chest, almost hairless compared to his. He fingers my nipples, eliciting a moan from me.

  “Let me see,” he says against my lips and then gazes down at my crotch. “Your cock is so fucking beautiful. How can a man’s body make me so crazy?”

  “You’ve had a man before,” I moan as his powerful hand carefully grips my cock.

  “Yes, but no one’s ever made me feel like this.”

  “Like what?” I ask between gritted teeth as he strokes my cock.

  Declan lowers his mouth until I feel his warm breath on the head of my dick. “Crazy,” he whispers, looking up at me. Holding my gaze, he sucks my dick into his wet, hot mouth.

  “Crap,” I moan, realizing how long it’s been since a man actually wanted to pleasure me. “I forgot how good this could feel.”

  His tongue circles my cock’s cap, and he murmurs, “Tell me if I do anything wrong or you want something. Teach me.”

  Smiling, I stroke his hair to reassure him how his tongue bathing the length of my cock feels perfect. Declan remembers my balls and lowers his mouth. Sucking and licking them, he coats my throbbing flesh with his saliva.

  “I’m going to come,” I moan. “It’s too good, and I want you so bad.”

  Declan returns his mouth to my cock and begins to rhythmically suck. I feel the head of my cock press against the back of his throat and then go farther. I could fucking cry at how this sexy man offers me pleasure. He could take everything and be selfish, and I’d still swoon for him. No way could I have imagined when he saved me at the gas station that one night I’d coat his throat with my jizz while whimpering his name.

  ♂◈ Declan ◈♂

  Adam’s battered body manages to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to touch his warm skin and taste the salty flesh. My heart pounds in my chest, and I struggle to keep my hands from shaking.

  After my divorce, I hooked up with a guy I met online. Dylan lived in Indianapolis and came with a ton of experience. I thought that’s what I needed, but he viewed me as a piece of meat rather than a real person. The hookup scene doesn’t have the patience for a novice like me, and I was left unimpressed with the lifestyle.

  With Adam, I again feel like a clueless kid. We should put the brakes on the sex anyway. At least until he’s more on an equal footing with me. Instead, I shove away my common sense and give in to the urge to have his cock in my mouth.

  I don’t know where to begin once I’m between Adam’s legs. His pale cock is gorgeous from the thick base to the red, leaking head. I run my tongue along his flesh, trying to do for Adam what he did for me. I want so desperately to give him pleasure.

  His thighs widen at my prompting, leaving his balls unprotected. They look so vulnerable, and I feel them twitch under the teasing of my tongue.

  Lifting my gaze, I enjoy the sight of Adam’s beautiful lips parted as he moans approvingly. How many men used his subtle body for their pleasure and never thought to make him come too? I hate imagining him with anyone else. He belongs with me. I’ve known this fact since I first laid eyes on him at the gas station. Under the instant lust was an understanding that Adam was special, and I wanted to own him completely.

  Sucking him the way he did me earlier, I savor every drop of cum he delivers into my mouth. Adam needs this relief. He needs tenderness and acceptance. I want him to know how beautiful he is, and how much it hurts me not to hold him in my arms every second since he first sucked me this morning. We crossed a line when I asked him to jack off in front of me. As much as I pretend to keep my distance, I crave to devour Adam until he’s a part of me in every way.

  ♂◈ Adam ◈♂

  Redressing to eat dinner, Declan and I talk about old war movies. I haven’t seen any, and he is obsessed with them. Taking the hint, I ask to watch one of his favorites. We relax on the couch where we eat and watch The Thin Red Line.

  Declan glances at me again and again for about twenty minutes before finally having my head rest on his thigh. I stretch out on the couch with my feet dangling off one end. Declan caresses my head, playing with my hair before running his knuckles against my cheek.

  With us chilling and my guard down, I’m startled when ugly shit from my past pops into my head. Then I think about how wrong my being here with Declan is. He’s amazing while I’m a dirty slut. Even if he overlooks my flaws, nothing good lasts forever, and I’m doomed to end up alone again.

  “People used to tell me that I was shit,” Declan says during a quiet moment in the movie. “They’d take out their problems on me because I had addicts for parents. I knew having shitty parents wasn’t my fault. I also knew the people who told me that I was shit were the assholes. Knowing and believing are two different things after having all those negative lies drilled into my head. It was Shiv who got me to forget that crap.”

  “How did you shake it off?”

  “I reminded myself that the ugly shit in my head came from assholes unhappy with their lives. Nothing they said mattered because they were losers. Thinking that way didn’t work right away. It took years but eventually became second nature. Maura helped too. She’d see me pissed at myself for fucking up and remind me how everyone did. I wasn’t special. People fucked up every day and got over it, so I needed to do that too.”

  “Was Maura a good wife?” I ask, refusing to imagine them feeling this kind of closeness.

  “Yeah. She’s smart about shit. When we first got married, she suggested I see a shrink to work out crap. I considered it, but the idea of paying someone to listen to my bad memories seemed stupid. I did read a self-esteem book once,” he says, and chuckles. “It was pretty fucking stupid, but I did get to thinking that all the girls I ever had a crush on growing up were the same type. Not necessarily the prettiest girls, but kind and soft. I started wondering if maybe I liked them because I never had a mother, and I wanted a woman to be sweet to me like I never got with my mom.”

  “You had crushes on girls?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

  “I took a long time figuring out stuff. I liked girls, but I wanted boys. All through high school, I couldn’t figure out if I was gay since I had those crushes on girls. I knew I wasn’t straight since I noticed guys and had wet dreams about guys. I figured I liked both. So when Shiv wanted me to get married, I thought I should be fine with a woman. And I was.”

  “Did you leave Maura or did she leave you?”

  “She left me,” Declan says and then notices my expression. “Adam, guys in my club don’t fuck other guys. Even the guys that did time in prison will claim they never fucked or sucked anyone. It’s not done.”

  “What’s changed since then and you sucking me tonight?”

  “Yeah, well, it’s hard to explain to you. I sense you always knew what you wanted fuck-wise. I told you how I liked girls. Not all of them, for sure, but some of them and I thought maybe I was okay with being with women. I loved Maura, but that’s not why we got married. Shiv said I ought to marry her, and her dad is in the club, and he said she ought to marry me. We did what we were told, and we were happy, and I never thought I’d find any other kind of love.”

  I can’t imagine him craving a woman, though the nice girls equaling mommy issues thing does make sense. No doubt I’m just jealous of him wanting anyone before me.

  “Why did Maura leave you?”

  “She met someone else who made her feel something I never did,” Declan says in a voice devoid of emotion. “They weren’t fucking yet, but she’d fallen hard and wanted out of the marriage. Until she met him, Maura hadn’t realized she was missing anything with me. I guess I was the same way. I could have stayed married forever because I never thought I could feel like I do with you. Then you got your ass kicked at the gas station, and here we are.”

  “I’ve never been happier to get a beating.”

  Declan rubs his rough thumb over my lips. “Adam, let’s be honest here.”

  Instantly, I’m certain he’ll say we can never be mo
re than fuck buddies behind closed doors.

  “You’re young, and you haven’t been away from the assholes long enough to know what you want. You like it here, and I make you feel safe. You attach feelings to me because I’m one of the few people ever to treat you nice. Now you’re ready to work at my restaurant and play house and do whatever I want. Making me happy will become more important than making yourself happy.”

  “I’m not sure what you’re saying.”

  “I’m saying you can stay here without sucking me off,” he murmurs while caressing my hair. “You can work at my restaurant or not and still have a place to stay. I won’t deny I brought you here because you’re sexy as hell. That doesn’t mean I don’t really want to help you out with no strings attached. So even if you and I can’t do the boyfriend shit, we can be friends. In the end, you need to take your time figuring shit out.”

  “Okay, but just know the reason I want to touch you and suck you and...” I pause to shudder at the fantasy of him deep inside my ass. “I don’t want that because it’s the only way I can stay. I want it because I want you.”

  “So we’re on the same page. The sex stuff isn’t a deal breaker. We can be friends, and I can mentor you just like Shiv mentored me. The fact that I also like the taste of your cum doesn’t factor into the other stuff.”

  Smiling up at him, I whisper, “You suck great cock, Declan.”

  “You’re making me hard again.”

  “That’s okay. This movie isn’t nearly as impressive as your cock.”

  Declan bites at his lower lip and inhales sharply. “I’m going to say something, and then you tell me honestly if you still want me to pull out my dick for you.”

  Wary now, I lose my smile. Declan sighs softly, finding the words for his big declaration.

  “I’ve never shared my bed here at the apartment with anyone, and I’m not ready to start tonight.”

  “That’s okay,” I say, instantly wondering why I’m okay to cuddle with on the couch but not in his bed.

  “No, it’s not okay. Your disappointment is written all over your face.”

  “No, I get it.”

  “It’s selfish, I know,” he says, running his hand through his thick hair. “I’m used to having the entire bed to myself and stretching out. I move around a lot too. Maura hated sharing a bed with me, and I really couldn’t sleep well with her. She hogged the covers and wanted to spoon when I just wanted to roll all over the place. So, I could have you crawl in with me tonight and make it work, but I don’t want to because I like having the damn thing to myself. I’m an asshole, and I admit I’m an asshole, but it is what it is.”

  Grinning at his dark expression, I sit up and stroke his cock through his sweats. “It’s for the best. I’m bruised up, so having you roll into me all night doesn’t sound fun.”

  Declan smiles just a little. “No, we can’t have you get more banged up.”

  I kiss his throat and nuzzle his bearded chin. “You’re pretty incredible, Declan, and I’m glad Maura found her special someone. Now you have a chance to do the same.”

  Cupping my face in his coarse hands, Declan plants a demanding kiss on my lips. I’m startled by the possessive need behind his gesture. He no longer plays catch-up to my sexual lead. Taking charge, he grips my throat and deepens the kiss until I breathe only him. The world fades away, and I’m left with Declan’s dominating lust and my sense of belonging in this man’s arms.

  7

  ♂◈ Adam ◈♂

  After the movie, Declan kisses me goodnight and assures me that he’s a nice boss. Something about his tone makes me think people criticize his leadership skills. I plan to be the model employee, even if I have no idea what that means.

  I ready for bed, using my new toothpaste and brush. I can’t believe how easily I’ve grown comfortable in this apartment with Declan. It’s like I belonged here all along, and I’ve only been going through the motions until our fateful meeting.

  I crawl into bed after turning on the TV and off the lights. Declan not wanting to share a bed was actually a relief after I got over my initial rejection. I’ve gotten spoiled having a double-sized bed to myself for the last two nights. Growing up, I was lucky for a twin. Often, I ended up in a sleeping bag on the floor.

  Unable to stop smiling, I close my eyes and let my brain replay the hundreds of amazing moments from my day. Sleep grabs me before negative thoughts can take the place of the great ones. I don’t stir all night and only when Declan calls my name do I stir from my wonderful dreams.

  “Are you still coming to work with me this morning?” he asks, and I open my eyes to find him squatting next to the bed.

  “Yeah, totally.”

  I think I move, but when my eyes open, I find Declan grinning. “Why don’t you crash for a few more hours and then head downstairs when you’re ready?”

  “I’ll come now.”

  “Look, my chef is throwing his fucking fit, so I need to prep. I can’t have you sleepy when I’m cutting shit and cooking, okay?”

  “Sorry.”

  “You have plenty of time to learn once you heal up.”

  Declan kisses my forehead and then quickly on my lips before he leaves the room. I want to thank him, but he’s gone too fast, and my brain is too fucking slow. My eyes close immediately, and I return to the kind of sweet slumber my life rarely affords me.

  No worries about someone attacking me while I sleep. Or anxiety that a fight might break out in another room or the cops could pull a no-knock warrant on someone in the house. The only one around to bother me is Abbott, and she likes to sleep more than I do.

  The dog is chilling on the couch when I finally wake up two hours later. I shower and dress before shoving half a donut in my mouth. Through it all, Abbott remains on her back, quietly snoring like a furry angel. Growing up, I’d never had a real pet, so when Declan mentioned his dog, I worried she wouldn’t like me. Now I can see the allure of a friendly face at the end of the day.

  Leaving Abbott to sleep, I take my time walking down the wet stairs. The neighborhood is already active and steady traffic passes by the front of Munchkins Meatballs. I open the door and instantly smell baking bread.

  “We’re not open,” a waitress tells me without looking up from where she sits in a booth.

  “I’m here to help Declan.”

  Never looking up from her phone, she mumbles he’s in the kitchen. I assume anyone asking for Declan is aware he can kick their ass, so the waitress doesn’t need to worry.

  The restaurant has a family vibe rather than somewhere bikers would hang out. On the walls hang a dozen pictures of what I assume is Declan’s club. The men look a lot like him with their beards, long hair, denim, and leather. I study them, wondering what they’d think of Declan going down on a guy. I worried before about not fitting into his life. Now less than five minutes in his restaurant amplifies those fears by a million.

  Declan’s back remains to me as I enter the kitchen. Bent over his workstation, he looks all wrong in a red apron. I lose the ability to speak, feeling awkward in this place. Before I find my words, he notices my arrival and gestures for me to join him.

  “Do you know how to make pizza?”

  “I assume you mean beyond sticking it in a microwave? If so, no.”

  Declan smiles. “We’re not a fancy fucking high-scale place, but we avoid microwaves.”

  “So, no sushi then?” I tease in nearly a whisper.

  Declan shoots me a pissed biker glare, but I only smile. He lost much of his intimidation factor after he got on his knees to suck me off.

  “Show me what to do, and I’ll do it. Wait, can I take notes?”

  “Yeah, kid, you can take notes,” he says, nearly laughing at me.

  “What?”

  “This isn’t school.”

  “Why are you giving me grief?”

  Declan chuckles. “I hate playing cook. Anyway, I’ll go through everything quickly and then we’ll slow down on the parts that confuse y
ou.”

  Declan isn’t much of a teacher. He moves too quickly and forgets to tell me what he’s doing. I’m afraid to ask a million questions, but he really doesn’t know how to explain anything anyway. Rather than grow impatient when I don’t get his instructions the first time, though, Declan shows me again and again how to prepare popular dishes.

  By the lunch rush, we fall into an easy rhythm. An order comes in; I silently panic at having to remember the necessary ingredients. Declan patiently waits for my ass to move. Once he gets what he needs, the food prep goes quickly. Soon, we’re plating the order and sending it out.

  Each time, I panic a little less and bring what he needs a little faster. Declan doesn’t complain. He can’t teach for shit, but the man has the tolerance of a man accustomed to stupid people.

  “I have a guy coming in for the dinner service,” Declan says once we hit a quiet spell.

  While he fixes us a pepperoni pizza for lunch, I sit down in a chair to give my wobbling legs a break. Declan leans against the stove while eating his slice.

  “I’ll be out of here by five. You ought to head upstairs to rest. That way, you’ll be ready to head out for dinner later.”

  “Dinner?”

  “I never eat out.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You did good today,” he says rather than answering my question.

  “Not really.”

  “I started out working as a dishwasher at a burger place one of the club guys owned. I’d bus tables and mop floors. Clean toilets too. That shit was why I wanted to learn to cook. I hated cleaning up piss.”

  “How long did it take you to learn to cook?”

  “About six very long fucking months before I was left alone in the kitchen. Hell, it took me three months just to make a good burger. I’d either overcook the meat or leave it raw. I had trouble with the damn temps. Once I got a system, it stuck.”

  “Did you like cooking?”

  “No,” Declan says and wipes pizza sauce from his delicious lips. “I didn’t hate it either. I used to think I’d get into cars and bikes. You know, repairing them, but once I knew how to cook, I didn’t see any point in starting from scratch with learning cars. You might not have figured this out about me yet, but I’m a lazy fucker.”